News Flash: You Matter

I’m sure we’ve all been there a time or two, popular, at least to some degree…someone that others wanted to know or talk to. Perhaps you’ve been that person who had as many friends as there were stars in the sky (exaggeration) or a friend for each day of the week or month. Perhaps you’ve only called few friends. Perhaps you’ve only had one really good one who was without a doubt, the best thing that ever happened to you. Imagine for just a moment that the individual(s) in question all of a sudden disappeared? You stopped hearing from them. They stopped calling or texting, they moved away and didn’t tell you, then found new friends or the relationship had just seemed to fizzle out, whether boldly or indirectly. Suddenly the feeling grips you that speaks very loudly in your head “You no longer matter.”

Have I been there? Oh, likely too many times to recount, or maybe the truth is that I don’t want to remember all of those times and what it felt like. It definitely presents a vulnerability that is the ultimate challenge for me. To add to that, it seems a recurring theme, happening over and over again like that bicycle wheel that won’t stop turning. Have you ever felt like that? You reach and reach and reach some more only to realize that clearly, you no longer matter. You send a message and you may or may not get one in return. You send an email and it may or may not be read. You call and you only get to the voicemail, if it is even answered at all. Then, you get in your own head and you tell yourself that it is you. Something is wrong with you. Why does this thing keep happening to me over and over again like a recurring chronic cough that won’t let my lungs go? But I got to thinking. Now thinking can be quite dangerous at times, but I submit that this time, it was good.

So I began to wonder about the whole coming and going or the possibility that those individuals were never “really” there to begin with, and two things came to mind:

1) You served the purpose you had in their lives.

2) It was meant to break you in order to build you.

Let’s take point one to start. I’d always heard that not everyone is around to “stay.” While there could be a myriad of reasons why someone chooses to walk away, what I began to understand is that it is quite possible that the role looming over your head that needed to be fulfilled in that person’s life may be finished. It is quite possible that you were to sow a seed, or water and once the act is complete, so is that purpose and hence they, or maybe even you, walk away. Then, life goes on and someone else crosses your path. The spin cycle has just changed again and now you have the opportunity to fulfill purpose in the life of the new person you met. Maybe it is in something you say, or do. Maybe you listen well and they need that. Maybe you’re a giver and they have never known anyone like that. Maybe you’re just sincere or genuine and they get to see that modeled, altering their perception of people. Perhaps it is many things.

Moreover, consider for just a moment that your purpose is not tied to just a few. Maybe your gifts and talents are not designated to be limited. Perhaps your value is so much bigger and grander than you believed. Maybe your “why” supersedes that which you always thought it was. To clarify, as hard as it might be to stomach when things end, it may be the very design. It may be that what you brought to the life of another has been accomplished, and is in fact, not a negative at all, but a positive. Mission accomplished.

Moving swiftly to point two, which I must admit is the hardest to discuss. As if the potential pain associated with point one wasn’t enough, point two takes things to a whole new level. What if, by design, the feeling of ‘no longer mattering’ is to strengthen you, redirect you, focus you towards a path, a direction or a goal. A very short story is that I was once friends with a couple individuals. Memories were made. Bonds were shared. Life was lived together. Then, Boom! They moved away. Not only did they move away, the lines of communication were scrambled, cut or somehow abruptly discontinued. It bothered me for a long while. In fact, thinking about it now still makes me feel some kind of way. Nevertheless, I am stronger now than I was before. Because I endured that pain, I gained strength to keep it moving and perhaps handle greater things. Another example might be the wolf pack at Lackland Air Force Base during basic training. I was part of a flight of 59 airmen. We all took an oath to support and defend the nation, with one focus or mission, and that was to become airmen ‘together.’ So many experiences were had in those 6.5 weeks, triumphs and hardships. To this day, I am in contact with about 7 of those airmen, but the other 52 lasted for the 6.5 weeks and that was it. To that point, some relationships with others end and some last longer, and perhaps it is all due to purpose. That is not to say friendships cannot be maintained if desired, but as an alternative way of thinking, perhaps the relationships that end were not meant to last beyond the precipice of purpose being fulfilled.

Long story short, I have had my days where it felt as though I didn’t matter, or no longer mattered, because people moved on and it seemed like they didn’t care anymore. I had to rewrite the script in my mind. I had to understand that what looks like loss, may not be that at all. Perhaps it is that very event or experience that had purpose in it. Perhaps the feelings are necessary to move me further along to realize that I am not here at all by accident, but I am here on purpose. If you didn’t do what only YOU could do, then who would do it? If you didn’t say what only YOU can say it (the way you say it) then who would? If you didn’t be YOU the way that only YOU can, then who could step into those shoes? I say no one! “YOU are the ‘only’ YOU that will ever be, YOUR experiences, YOUR story, YOUR diversity.” (Journey to the Y in You) Your life matters. You Matter.

Leaning Towards the Light

Have you ever paid attention to the actions of plants and trees in the world? Do you have the proverbial “green thumb?” Do you garden at home? Small things blow my mind every day and one of them is the need that plants have for the light. We learn that scientifically, the process by which plants, as producers, make their own food is photosynthesis, requiring the absorption of sunlight as one of its prerequisites. That has made sense to me ever since I learned it. However, the thing that fascinated me was watching what plants do when the position of the light source changes, or the position of the plant itself is altered.

This plant (whose name is to be determined) was grown from its seed and has been manipulated by me on many occasions, raising and lowering it, as well as shifting its position with respect to the light.

If you have ever spent time with your plants outside, surely you have likely noticed that your plants, depending on where you have them, will always ‘lean towards the light.’ So, the plants, though rooted into the ground are responding to changes in their environment. According to Journey North, there is a chemical called auxin inside of plants that allows the plant to regulate it shoot growth. In this way, plants’ auxin levels are generally spread throughout the plant, however in the case of light variations, the auxin on the sunny side of the plant is broken down and sent to the part of the plant being shaded, allowing the plant to grow longer stems in that area. Those longer stems allow the plants to ‘lean’ towards the light. The process is referred to as phototropism. If the plant or tree has fallen over, the principle remains that the plant or tree will still ‘lean towards the light.’ This phenomenon amazes me, makes me wonder, and draw on it to form connections between plants and people.

When I think of light, I think of the thing that shines, guides or leads. The lighthouse out in the middle of the water, is a beacon for seafarers and ship captains and sailors to safely make their way back to the shore. The small match in the middle of a forest at night dispels the darkness. A flashlight or a candle aids us all in the event of power outages or brown-outs. How much more might we, as individuals be a light, or the light for someone else? Who is leaning towards you? Are you shining as a beacon of hope and encouragement during tumultuous times? How can you be a light in times of darkness and uncertainty? Can be by lending you ear? What about offering a bottle of water? Is it possible that people just need to feel cared for, and even if you may not be able to deliver a hug, you find a way to be a bridge over troubled waters?

As an educator of 14 years, one thing I can say with 100% certainty, is that teachers always have been and likely will continue to be much more than someone who siphons out content. In fact, students come to us, in many cases, needing more than curriculum. It makes you wonder why curriculum seems to be so much more important than the human part, social-emotional learning, life skills and the like. It sounds very backwards to me. Yet there are so many ills in the world that could be altered if we turned on the light. What if the light influenced the degree to which learning could be augmented, deeper and more effective? I firmly believe that we have the potential to be lights, lights that encourage, guide, instruct, give hope and give love. Maybe it isn’t a visible light, maybe its a glow that you have that people are drawn to. Maybe it’s the way in which you incline your ear, listening so intently and talking so little.

How would things in our spaces and places change if we knew that there were those leaning, like plants, trying to find a light? A light that they can develop from. A light that they can produce from. A light that they can strengthen from. A light that they can glean from so that they even become a conduit for others plants (people) to grow. If they leaned in your direction, would they receive nutrient-rich light? And…maybe we as lights, can also lean toward others who, can encourage us in times of challenge..to show us all that ‘leaning towards the light’ is gives us all the strength to keep growing.

Forward in 2019.

2018 came to a close with this opportunity to share with those of Lutheran Haven on 12/23. You can watch and listen HERE if you so desire! I am constantly reflecting (and analyzing) and I can admit that the challenges of 2018 changed me. I realize that I am not the same person. Not everything felt good, was good, but I believe that it was necessary. Now I, today, take a forward mindset into 2019. 2018 is now behind me or should I say serves as stepping stones. Reflecting on my previous post "Broken, but Built." The obstacles become opportunities, the sticky situations become stepping stones, the problems become possibilities. I am convinced that what we say and think of ourselves is our reality. Choosing my words and actions carefully, I will move forward, starting today.

The Students Ed Camped It

It all started with a conversation about the possibility of creating the space and time for students to learn together in a space. We had our first student Ed Camp on May 16, 2017, after introducing students to the idea and getting them motivated and excited to engage in a non-traditional form. Of course this didn't much because students were stoked at the idea of sharing with others their own learning experiences, talents, skills and passions, whether academic or not.

Episode 4: The Power of the Light. (Journey to the Y in You)

Listen to the most recent episode of my podcast: You can be a light to someone else that needs you. https://anchor.fm/denegainey/episodes/You-can-be-a-light-to-someone-else-that-needs-you-e2rl03

Sensing, Understanding, and Delivering

To teach is indeed a calling. To know that what you do daily has the capacity to live far longer than you do is mind-blowing!  I can't help but wonder if there are certain people that need the very words that come out of my mouth? Perhaps there are students who, for whatever reason, are in situations that you can speak life to, provide solace in, and help them get out of through embracing, encouraging, and empowering them.

Embrace: This could be a physical embrace or a metaphorical one. Maybe a hug is in order or perhaps simply knowing that they can talk to and relate to you because though you are a superhero in their eyes, you are still human.

Encourage: Maybe they need to hear something positive. Acknowledge their strengths, help them to identify and find areas of weakness to work on and improve themselves. Help them to see the value of personal responsibility.

Empower: Teach them to reach, to dig, to expand and to grow, whether you are standing there or not.

I was recently engaged in a conversation at an EdCamp during a session called "Building a Positive School Culture." In the session was the discussion of the concern raised by teachers, namely the "the loss of instructional time" that comes through school-sponsored events, the time taken to redirect student behaviors and combat the societal things that walk boldly into the classrooms, etc. I challenged them at the end of the session to flip the script.

I create lesson plans every two weeks that are to guide the teaching and learning in the classroom. More times than not, there is a deviation from what I planned. In fact, if I were to be completely honest, I hardly ever stick to the strategic plan that I've outlined on paper. What I find to be true is that the real strategy is being able to deliver, provide or allow for what is needed by the students in the classroom at that moment, in the here and now, dependent solely on discerning the environment, knowing students and being able to be sensitive to the needs of others. That cannot be planned for, however, as an educator, I have placed myself in the position to be flexible and shift based on the needs.

Perhaps in lieu of building school culture and cultivating a rich, innovative and dynamic learning environment, we should not see these deviations from the norm as loss of instructional time. Perhaps these deviations are more instructional than any 'instruction' will ever be. Perhaps it is the words or activities that flow that are much more meaningful for the time, and without them, the curriculum would not stick anyway. So, if I flow with the needs of the class and increase my sensitivity to the needs of the day, how much more will the content itself stick when it does occur.

Signed,

One who does not stay the same.

When Love Has Everything to Do With It.

So I haven't been able to carve out time in quite a while to blog and I am not happy about that. Things have been so incredibly busy, and positively so! I had the most incredible experience this summer in Tanzania (a future post will go into more detail about this 30-day immersive experience). However I will say that while there I was reminded of the fact that heart connections can be and should be made as it drives us to act if we truly know love. It's easy to say I love you, but it means something altogether different when you have an experience that reinforces or deepens that said love. Needless to say, Tanzania ignited (or heightened the flame) of a love in me to help, encourage and motivate others. Likewise yesterday, our school hosted its annual Meet the Teacher, which is the chance to bring in and drop of school supplies, as well as get important information regarding the start of school and to meet the teachers. While I had the grand opportunity to meet most of the students that would make up my homeroom class this year, many of them being new to the school, I was overwhelmed by what I would call heart-throbbing experience.

You might say that you really don't know your full impact as a teacher until after you've taught them and the students have moved on. Likewise some might say that you will never fully know the totality of your impact as an educator. However, one thing is certain. Love has everything to do with it. I made it a point to count how many of my previous students who have either moved onto middle school (while still at our school) or who have gone on to high school with siblings attending our school who came to visit and say hello. By the way if you were curious, I counted 27. Even some of the new students offered hugs.

I was completely consumed by the reciprocated love I felt from my students, the countless renderings of heartfelt hugs and the fact they hung out, felt no need to rush and leave but we're completely comfortable there, and their parents either joined them or checked in on them all the while, knowing that they were okay. A couple students needed some reinforcement that they would be okay and shine and do well in middle school and then I felt honored that they would be able to lean on me for support and encouragement even beyond the classroom.

All things considered, I believe that the proof is in the pudding. When you show them love, not only will you have an irreplaceable impact in their lives, it will come back to you time and time again, a reminder #theYinYou and the reason why we must continue to #CLIMBE. If you have not yet had the chance to grab a copy of my first solo book, please do so on Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

The title is "Journey to the 'Y' in You." It speaks volumes. See the links below. Take care and remember that love truly has EVERYTHING to do with it! See you soon!

Barnes and Noble

Amazon

Stand Up Teacher

Well, this is officially my first post of 2018. Times have been so busy that I had not had the grand opportunity. I recall about three years ago as part of a team-building exercise, I along with staff members at my school went to an improv comedy show. I'd never done it before and thought about the opportunity to laugh and decompress at an event such as this. Being that is was improv, I suppose I had no idea at the time that I could (or would) become part of the show. In fact, the topic had shifted to "pick up lines" and I was positioned as a judge to determine whose pickup lines were worthy of a thumbs up or a thumbs down. It was a lot of fun, I won't lie. I was nervous and had no idea how this would end but now I can say that I did it, had the opportunity and laughed a lot as a result. If it ever happens again, I won't be so nervous I suppose.

My point today is this...being a stand up teacher. I clearly stand up all day, and rarely sit down, whether at a table or desk. My feet tell me so at the end of the day, coupled with all of the walking and getting my steps in without any problems at all. This is not what I mean at all though. Challenging times and scenes today both in and out of classrooms seem to suggest a need for educators to be sensitive to environments, students and needs. This is not to say it hasn't always been important, but I have encountered many experiences this year alone where I have had to alter the course of travel for a class, for a week, for a student, for a group of students because the climate dictated a different way that day. I spend so much time planning and even learning in order to plan effectively. However I realize more and more that these lesson plans do not always go "as planned."

I'd learned about a strategy for teaching that includes drama, more specifically referred to as "Actor's Toolbox" which includes aspects of social-emotional learning as well as opportunities to teach students about those elements of themselves that are necessary in order to experience success in school. It further provides an opportunity for students to move, form randomized groupings for class activities as well as reinforce expectations.

There is a part of the Actor's Toolbox that includes a focus game that students love. The students move to a circular standing formation in the room when the cue is provided (music for our class). They "sign" the five-part contract that says they will be in charge of their bodies, their voice, their minds, their focus and finally cooperate with others. This is all done with miming or gesturing (drama). I then get the opportunity to try to distract them as they focus on a point on the wall opposite where they are standing. The goal is for them to remain calm, focused and balanced. Additionally, I like to ask students to point out any "strong" choices they observed other students do, such as moving quietly and calmly. We also discuss "weak" or undesirable choices made by students, like laughing while coming to the circle or running. This is such a powerful way to start our class and I really have seen students step to the plate and develop in maturity.

Actor's Toolbox is fun. I've had students group using the following statement: "By the time I count to 6, find yourself in a group that has an even number" (or someone wearing glasses, or someone wearing black, or having at least one boy). They can use non-verbal communication but are not encouraged to talk while moving into these groups. However once assembled, they might discuss a topic that comes to mind, like a book they read over the weekend. Or I might create a talking piece based on something we are learning in class at that time, giving them an opportunity to discuss it with random students (and those not normally paired with). I always follow up with sharing as a whole class a couple of the really great thoughts from the groups.

My point in sharing that example is that I have used it during times where there was clearly a need to "do something different." I use it almost every day as it is, but definitely use it to break up any potential monotony and in those times that the conditions call for something more. I feel educators are the great balancers and jugglers! Or at least we should be flexible and aware of the climate, which changes oh so frequently in order to meet the needs of the diverse learners that we all have in our reach. As I have heard many times, Maslow, before Blooms, because Blooms will be so much more effective once Maslow is in place.

Thanks for reading! Have a good one!

What are my 100 Words?

First thanks, Jessie Boyce for putting this little challenge out there. It's really a little HUGE challenge. I'd never thought about doing this before and here goes my disclaimer: This is probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, putting my joy of teaching and learning in 100 words.

My 100 Words on Why I Love Teaching

I love teaching because it is a perpetual process of learning & I am just as much of a student when I teach as the students themselves are. I love teaching because of the immense ability to “reach” and not just teach & to see lives transformed through that reach! I love teaching because little by little, the world can be changed for the better. I love teaching because of spontaneous discovery and the ability to empower students to C.L.I.M.B.E. There is nothing more beautiful than seeing students actualize themselves and take ownership and independence when learning.

What are your 100 words? I think it’s time to get writing!